I kept hold of this and it's something I posted probably 4 years ago now....are you strong enough to forgive?
"With eyes closed, imagine a comfortable, relaxed, quiet, unhurried place. Your former partner is there and with each other you're comfortable. Each of you takes turns in talking and listening, nothing heavy, just pleasant and cordial interchanges.
Now as you are talking and listening, it becomes a little more personal. Imagine yourself telling her or him some of those things you always wanted to tell, but were never able to say. You feel very free to let out these things within you. Sharing those things you always wanted to share and could not share. It feels good inside to be doing this.
Imagine your former mate telling you those things that he or she always wanted to tell you but never could before. Here she or he is, truly communicating to you their very personal yearnings, hopes and dreams. Imagine, you two have really shared with each other and ... and "heard" each other. It has felt good, this sharing and hearing - a good exchange!
Now, you hear a bit of tremor in your voice. Slowly, you ask your former mate to forgive you for whatever you may have done that hurt them. And you see yourself, hesitantly, granting forgiveness to them for whatever they may have done that hurt you. Continue to picture this setting, as both of you stand up. You have stood up and you say good-bye to each other. You shake hands and say good-bye again. Picture yourself now turning and walking away, not looking back. You have said good-bye and you are now walking away, leaving him or her behind.
Now, In your imagination gaze upon this scene from a third person perspective. You can see the two of you walking away from each other. As you see yourself moving toward your point of view, you see each of you moving further and further apart. You become larger in your view, as he or she is getting smaller and smaller. You watch her or him walk away, until finally you see your former mate disappear from your sight in the far distance, far behind you. You feel okay about this. Inside somehow, though painful, though filled with emotions, somehow you feel that it will be okay. Now......., slowly come back to the present. Come back to where you are. You have imagined truth here. Your former mate will get smaller and smaller for you as time goes on. You will continue to become much more important to yourself in your own eyes. You will be just fine, because you will come closer and closer to whom you really are as a human being of value and worth."
This was the first stage for me. Not sure exactly when I felt ready to date. Spent the next couple of years just being on my own, doing what I wanted to do for me and the children. I think you will just know when you are ready Matilda.
I'm going to work and study. My daughter does still ride but will stop at the end of the season so I will have more time. No holiday this year, perhaps next year
