What bothers me is the weepy pleading from your W about the L and the house and the kids. That can be reality hitting her in the face (she can have her divorce but it ain't gonna be neat and tidy), or it can be her feeling bad that she is the cause of all this going down. But it doesn't seem like "Oh my God, what am I DOING? Am I NUTS? We've got to work on this marriage so that these horrible things don't play out!" . . .
Don't get sucked in by her tears.
Exactly.
From my own personal archives:
Puppy's Stages of Remorse:
I do think your wife is in one of the early stages of remorse, but there are several stages. They'll go from:
Stage 1: "I'm sorry I got caught," to
Stage 2: "I'm sorry for ME that I've messed myself up so much," to
Stage 3: "I'm sorry for YOU that I hurt you (but I still don't see anything wrong with what I did)," to finally a more self-aware
Stage 4: "I'm sorry for what I did because IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO, on so many levels. For me, for the pain I caused my husband, for the breaking of my vows, etc."
Your wife, to me, still sounds like she's somewhere around Stage 2.
