MLC likely...BPD possible...divorce pending

[ericmsant2]

Lolawar,

[question]Do WAS act more rational? I am on the path to D so I guess it no longer helps to distinguish between WAS and MLC..[/question]
I think you answered your own question. At some point it will not matter to you…and I mean really will not matter. Funny thing…you decide when that point is.

IMO, if you hope to ever rebuild your M, or even have a civil R with your H after D, you may want to reconsider your stance on this. Insisting on exposing his adultery seems a bit revengeful to me, and it may turn what would otherwise be a civil D into an ugly public battle. That may not be in your long-term best interest.

I agree with Twink on this one. I think you need to figure out a few things first…1) who are you…and I mean who are you really. Ya know…the person that you are when no one is around. 2) once you have answered the first question…then determine what you want in the future with your H or STBXH. Do you want to remain friends? Is his definition of friends that same as yours? What do you really want?

I also agree that you should have your own L. Just remember that your L works for YOU. You can listen but do not have to agree with your L suggestion. As hard as this may be…do what is right and JUST.

In terms of the OP in your life….we’ll I think J3B set ya straight here. Now…that is not to say IMO that you cannot have an R – just make sure you know where YOU are when you decide to move forward. If you goal is to save your M…well then you cannot have your cake and eat it too. If you goal is to save yourself…well then you decide when the right time for a new R is. You and only you decide. Not I nor anyone else here…just you. Having said this….know what you want first…know who you are first…get to know yourself…then IMO….everything falls into place.

Finally, I personally would not respond to the text. That’s just me.

God Bless,
Eric