Kind of feel like the hurricane is over, now it's just very quiet and I'm assessing what's still standing and what's gone.
It's weird, I realized that I still in some regards feel like she's still living in the house, like I'm keeping things up until she returns. There are drawers in the kitchen that I've never opened... the boys made a mess with water balloons yesterday, and in cleaning it up I "discovered" these drawers, and the stuff that she kept in them. In small ways, I'm still doing things the way she did them, keeping it the way she did. Like she still lives there.
She still has clothes in the closet.
It's still weird waking up without her. It's been almost a year.
I guess that urge to call her, ask her to come home, all that crap, I know it's wanting the old her. The before-all-this-happened her. But the hurricane has come through, and you can't undo that.
Have the paperwork together to refi the house, get her name off of it.
