Ok I have stated very clearly that I cannot be his friend if he pursues the affair.
His response to this was that he was purposely staying out of contact with me because he felt it was the best thing for me. He also said that some days he felt terrific and other days he felt lost but that at least his decisions and their consequences were is own.
So clearly he is pursuing B and I can't affect that. Maybe in time he'll grow to miss what we had enough to go to C, but I feel very doubtful about that.
It's not just his growing to miss you, YOU can keep in contact with your exposure group and ensure THEY keep pressing him while YOU distance yourself from him... this means YOU go through less direct anxiety and HE still has to deal with the pressure... AND yes, the attachment will start to wrestle with him if you stay OUT of contact COMPLETELY
