It is very similar in a lot of ways with setting boundaries, distancing, and removing yourself from toxic conversations. But he talks MUCH more about the reasons WHY the affair happened in the first place so that you can understand where your WS is coming from. I've also learned A LOT about myself - and how much I've enabled WH's inconsiderate behavior over the years by allowing him to work all hours, not insisting on more participation with the kids, doing SO MUCH by myself, etc. The one-on-one conversations have been life-changing.
Larry also advocates being kind to your WS at all times and NOT fighting so that WS begins to associate that with you. In time, if he fights with anyone, it will be the OW.
That seems to be the case with my WH. After the blowup I heard from OW on Sunday, his whole demeanor has changed. He's not working nearly as much; he's working out, playing on AddictingGames.com, and generally keeping to himself. I don't know if it means they're in a lull; I don't think so. The EA's been winding down the last few weeks and her acting like a spoiled brat may have been the death knell. Let's hope so! Maybe she'll throw herself into her dissertation and get the h*ll out of Dodge (the university) asap!
