The journey begins

[ClingingToHope]

As everyone on here knows it's just so tough having someone to go home to for 13 years and then ... not. And then having to process that and learn there may be or is an OM.

So I have to admit I was very, very desperate the first few months to find someone else -- too desperate, really. My guess is women can spot that miles away.

I finally found this church singles group in April and it has helped tremendously because they have things scheduled. Having a group to hang out with on the 4th was big. My July 17th night is set. We have a cookout -- kids invited on July 25. My July 31st is set, etc.

31 is just a super nice person, but again she may just look at me as a friend anyway. We exchange texts. She came to see me do an eating contest. She sits next to me when the group gets together. I can interpret everything both ways.

At the 4th, I walked her back to her car. She didn't ask. I just did it, but she also kind of waited for me to do it. She spent much of the night entertaining a 7-year-old daughter of a guy in the group. I told her how good she is with kids and she laughed and said she's never babysat. She has tons of friends with kids and decided right away to put down a rule, no babysitting.

She said she doesn't know if she'd want kids. She might be interested in adopting because she thinks she'd handle girls better than boys.

I told her that she'd be fine with boys. In my case, I would have loved to have a son and coach little league. I do miss that. But instead I have two girls who like dance and theater and going to plays and recitals now are the biggest joys in my life.

That whole conversation can be interpreted anyway you want.

Right now, I'm enjoying the fact that I have finally found a new group to be around. I was worried about making wrong choices and finding someone at some late night pickup bar.

And I really don't want to screw up the group. But my friends think I should just ask her out and are urging me to do so.

I want to just finish out the summer -- I've got money and D issues anyway -- and go from there.

D7 is up and hungry. D11 is still sleeping. I'm still trying to figure out a fourth person for Great America, but now it's supposed to rain the next couple of days.