MLC likely...BPD possible...divorce pending

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I have always told him that I wanted to file as adultery. I would not have him served. I would not have OW served. I will mail him the papers and he can hand the OW the copy. I am not looking to embarress him...but I do want my divorce papers to state the truth. He is against this.

Hi lola. My H is also a L. I find might your H's response about the D papers quite strange except for your comments about filing on the grounds of adultery. Regardless of how he gets the papers, whether by service or by mail, they do become a part of the public record of the divorce case. I suspect he does not want that embarrassment, and is stalling in the hope that you will change your mind.

IMO, if you hope to ever rebuild your M, or even have a civil R with your H after D, you may want to reconsider your stance on this. Insisting on exposing his adultery seems a bit revengeful to me, and it may turn what would otherwise be a civil D into an ugly public battle. That may not be in your long-term best interest.

I did consult with an attorney awhile back...but because we split up everything, no children, and my H didn't want to use lawyers- I never pursued it.

This is something I would not agree to. You should have your own L, and I would let H know that you will not sign any papers without consulting one.

She called me several days ago and she says that she still has no idea what happened to her son...She also told me that she is still so ashamed and she may never get over the way her son acted.

My MIL has also been extremely supportive of me, while also loving her S unconditionally. She walks a fine line, and I am grateful for the balance she has found.

Keep reading, posting and working on you. You will find you're best way through this.