FFH, I'm so sorry. This is very typical, however, if that makes you feel any better. A cheating spouse loooves to draw their betrayed spouse into a "mistakes were made," passive-voiced, moral-equivalency conversation, draw comfort from you, and "normalize" things to an extent to assuage their pain and guilt.
As you've seen, these moments have NOTHING to do with their continued level of contact to their OP, sadly.
Yes, you both made mistakes, and both apparently have a lot of regrets. However, ONE of you was still here recently, trying to do the right thing and work on the marriage, while the other ran away from the marriage as fast as she could, cheating and lying about it.
