Antonia saying "I dont know that I can be friends with you" is just sending him a mixed message...
If you want HIM to end his affair and choose a healthy marriage or self-destruction YOU need to set an example by choosing a side TOO... If YOU can't say
No friendship, no affair, no divorce - no to all of it Yes partners, yes reconcile, yes marriage - yes to all of that
you can't expect HIM to do it either
How can you expect HIM to hop off the fence when you don't?
If you don't want the affair then SAY that... dont' say "I don't know"...
As long as YOU say "I don't know" HE is going to do the SAME DAMN THING
There is no point in negotiating with an addict...
Your H has three choices
A Pursue the affair and string you along as a side entertainment B End the marriage and pursue the affair 100% C End the affair and rebuild the marriage
AS long as you are in contact with him and sending him mixed messages like "I don't know" he is going to vote for A
YOU need to make him understand that A is NOT an option for him...
It FORCES him to choose B or C... He WANTS A.. it's EASIER and far less PAINFUL...
YOU have the power and control to RESTRICT him from A and that FORCES him to choose B or C
You have the control here to do that... If you negotiate, chit chat, give him "I don't know's" or anything that gives him any impression other than he gets 100% from you or he gets ZERO then you are allowing him to string you along.
He needs to know its all or nothing here... Or he will keep up the affair and string you along as Plan B for years if you let him...
