That's awesome Puppy!! I'm sorry I didn't respond when I got this this morning. I honestly thought I had.
I appreciate the history and the "hybrid approach". That seems to me to fit my situation. My detaching was a little cold and that "loving part" was the thing I needed as without it I would have been showing no changes other than GAL.
I managed to get some work done. And a friend dropped in and we talked about the hybrid approach. He played a little Devils Advocate to insure I was comfortable with the possible outcomes. In the few discussions we have had about my sitch (and he has had some troubles of his own and actually lent me his Love Languages today) his big fear in DB'ing is that he couldn't see any indication 'she is clearly aware of her "OUT" if she changes her mind'. And that's where I struggled a little, too. I felt my DB'ing would appear as a closed door to her and she'd have to go through with it as I was detached from her.
She went to her mom's w/ D today and was home by 9. I don't know what her mom knows other than I'm not coming around. Pretty sure W told her it's Divorce bound but I'm sure EA/PA has not been mentioned. Her mom had a tough life as a single mom from W's birthday forward. I'd like to talk to her but don't want W to see it as meddling. However, if A is verified, I'll have no choice. And "grand daughter" will be my motive.
I am, however,emotionally exhausted and just tired of thinking about this. I'd love to find a magic button to fix all this {What would you be doing differently if you awoke to find your R completely repaired?) but I'll have to keep going.
I'm not sure where I'll find the energy to keep being positive and upbeat knowing that it's still likely this will come apart. And I hate the thought with all my being. Especially now that I know how comparitively simple this M would be to repair as opposed to dismantling it.
But, as always, I can't try to tell her that cause she wouldn't listen. And Sandi2 is correct that it would be a start-over wedge.
I have to start on the hybrid quickly as she leaves for a mini-vacation in BC's summer hotspot next Wednesday. And I want her to see "something" good to make her doubt D just a little. I don't want her to go deeper into the abyss.
And then I'm taking D to BC for a week after that. I think the separation may be beneficial for both of us. Incidentally, a friend will be "watching" my GPS while I'm gone just so my house doesn't turn "party town" while I'm gone.
And my associate at her office is getting me OM's address so I can see if he is married. I'm thinking I may have to talk to her first about the pictures I have to see if she is aware of where he has been. ANd if she's as surprised as I was, all hell will break loose.
I re-read her original email D-bomb this afternoon and, strangely, because this was prior to the idiot MC giving her the wrong decision for her, I'd actually love it if she was actually back in THAT frame of mind.
Would it be of any benefit if I posted it here for "wiser eyes"?
