Well, tonight we did our MC's exercise where we discussed all the possible paths our marriage might take:

1. Stay together and work things out
2. Separate into different rooms
3. Separate residences
4. Divorce

W got upset that and asked how could I be so cold while discussing these? I said that I was far from cold, but that I trusted our MC. I listened to her concerns, the two most dominant being the affect on our children, and her worries of being financially independent. I tried not to put too much advice/interpretation and just listened. She said that she wasn't sure she'd know when to give up, when she had tried enough.

She has also noticed the things I've been doing for myself, but she's taking them the wrong way. She thinks that dieting, working out, going to church as well as listening to her when she talks is just too much "in her face" reminding her of how she felt overwhelmed by me when we first started dating.

I told her that these things were for me, that they made me feel better about myself. But she's so hypersensitive that she thinks everything is about her. In some ways, it might be easier if she did move out to a friends house/appt, but she'd never do that since it'd mean seeing less of our children.

She also said she feels like she's responsible for my happiness, and that if she stays while feeling as she does today, then she'll be miserable. I only said that I'm the one responsible for my happiness; but that having her in my life in a healthy, loving relationship would naturally be a good thing.

It's pretty obvious that she doesn't trust the changes I've made, and though she thinks they are good changes for me, thinks I'm doing them for her. She had been given the 5 Love Languages last year, and when I told her that I never knew what was important to me until I read it, she seemed to understand. I also said that it seemed like her LL was Quality of Time, which she agreed. I said that it was unfortunate that we've spent more quality time together the last week than the last 10 years, and that seemed to resonate with her.

She meets individually with our MC tomorrow, and then i do on Friday. As much as I wish I was a fly on the wall, I can't do much. I just need to focus on myself and my daughters.

If anyone has any idea of how I can give my W more space (while we still live in the same house and share parenting responsibilities), fire away.