Thank you GAG - I love your posts, you always have practical advice and you are further along in your journey and I'm learning a lot from you. You obviously did an excellent job DBing...and it's paying off.
I have to get back on track with DBing. I kind of had a rough spot after the last false R. I must admit that I was angry and it probably showed in my interactions with him...but I guess that I needed that to help me detach. I feel much more grounded right now and feel strong enough to start Dbing again. And I'm going to do it for me...it makes me feel better to take the high road, instead then being angry and bitter. So I will work on that...for me.
Thanks so much for keeping me updated on the changes/progress with your H...it certainly looks like he is waking up...it must be amazing to see the "old" H again...sometimes I think that they are lost forever...the way they behave...it's very encouraging to see that they are not
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
MIla, sorry for a brief highjack........Hope you don't mind if I reply to C-Wife's question here. My D was final in 12/09. I'd say that my state of mind post-D was "receptive" (keeping the door open a bit) while I was working to develop a strategy to "move forward". I continued to do many of the things I did to DB, just because they were the right things to do. For example, I continued to visit former MIL in the Alzheimers unit because she was always kind to me and she didn't have many visitors. Three weeks ago I had a session with Jody (DB coach) who said that given my sitch and the fact that XH hadn't let his walls down in 22 months that I should think seriously about setting a deadline after which I would "move on". I had tentatively set October as my deadline.........with the end date now in sight, I decided to extend an invitation to XH since I had nothing to lose --- I would be fine either way. I had already moved on in many ways.....but to my surprise, XH began not only accepting my invitations but suggesting that "we should do that again". Don't know how long this will last......but I am happy to have reached the point that TrueGritter talks about in his posts: I know that I still love XH but am OK if he can't see his way back to "us" again. If you have other questions, please feel free to contact me in the alt. My name is the same in the alt with a space after the 4th letter.
GAG
Last edited by goodattitudegirl; 07/07/1003:09 AM.
Thanks for your kind words. I'm glad you find my posts helpful. I think that one of the most important things I did that had a positive influence on my situation was to work with Jody (DB coach). She REALLY is EXTRAORDINARY!!! She has a wealth of experience and always had a fresh outlook on developments in my situation. If you and your readers have the financial resources to do so, working with Jody will have a very positive impact on your situation and mental health.
Just journaling - nothing much happening from H side...trying not to think about what they are doing on their "vacation". I'm working hard trying to get everything organized before I go away to see my mom in a week, I'll be gone for couple of weeks...that's a long time not to be at work so have to set-up everything for business to function smoothly.
D is leaving one day before me, have to get her ready and off to the airport as well. H didn't even ask if he can be of any help picking her up from the airport when she comes back. We are both flying back on the same day, I will arrive 3 hours before her....I guess that I will go home for couple of hours and then back to the airport to get her....I'll be pretty tired by then with a 16 hour flight behind me and all together about 20hrs traveling time.
Had to e-mail H with some business stuff, got back a dry one sentence reply a day later. This really sucks...have to email him again today because he was supposed to let me know something before he left and he didn't...and I need to know....hate it hate it hate it....I wish that I didn't have to communicate with him right now....and I bet that's the last thing he wants...to have his wife sending him e-mails, spoiling the mood and reminding him of reality.
Other then that, went shopping and got some nice summer tops, missed my "rebuilding" get-together...just didn't want to listen to depressed people yesterday....today I'll be working on accounting with suntanning breaks by the pool (another hot day)...tomorrow have tennis planned and an evening with my girlfriend....and a bottle of wine lol
Have a great weekend everyone
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
