Question

[awest1217]

Well, text H today to let him know what I was going to do with MIL. We agreed after what happened last weekend that we would communicate better about MIL and S, for S's sake. I told him I was going to talk to MIL about respecting me, and he said he was sorry and that she is probably wanting to take S to the fair. She had asked H earlier in the week and he said it wasn't his weekend so it would be no. I respect his understanding. He also said he is sorry for MIL trying to manipulate me again.

He also talked more about his weekends so I said I want to know what he wants and he said Fridays from 4 until 7 and Saturdays 9-7, since S is in bed at 8. We both agree S should not spend the night at his parents because of how possessive MIL is and because I don't want him to get used to H at one house and then him move.

So to me it seems like we can D. The reason for not Ding was because H wasn't seeing S regularly and I didn't want to make him do it if he didn't want to. Now H has not had him for a whole weekend even once so we will see if he actually does what he says he is going to do, but it does seem like my reasons for not filing are gone so I will try to talk to H in person some time soon and see if there is even a small reason for not filing. I really don't want to file, but even my aunt who was holding out hope far beyond anyone else that H would change his mind told me today that she doesn't know now if that is good because I have moved on and am doing well without him so should I really keep dealing with him if I don't have to. My only other hold up is I don't want H to make it out like he is the victim if I file. He left, he had the affair, he continually chooses to not work things out so he is not a victim, but neither am I. We are joint partners in our marriage failing and HE alone does not want to try so that is on him, and I don't want him to get sympathy from coworkers or family when it is his choice to not work on things...not mine...I am just choosing to not be a victim of his manipulations anymore.

A lot to think about...and a long week still ahead. Splash pad maybe tomorrow, put-putting sometime with S, the weekend stuff...a lot going on.