I know that friends have told him that he cannot expect to be my best friend after this, as long as he's with the OW, and he is really banking on that not being true, so I've got to make it come true or else I enable him to keep avoiding the reality of all of this.
So have you actually TOLD him this, Antonia?
This was a HUGE piece of the puzzle in fighting my wife's affair three years ago. Giving her the "I have no intention of being your friend, let alone your BEST friend, if you choose to end our marriage this way, by having an affair and LYING to those you love about it," -- along with exposure to our adult daughters and her parents -- were the things that were the most effective.
