How weird is it to celebrate a holiday with your H's son and his wife's family without your H? I am so thankful that my SS and my DIL's family have been so supportive to me and my kids during all of this craziness from H/
Not weird at all, just shows that they love YOU for YOU and that they want you in their lives regardless of where H is
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Kids and I worked out in the garage today and took a truckload of junk to the dump...wow is there so much more space in there!
I want to make room for some boxes of H's stuff that I packed several weeks ago that he has not taken yet...I can at least get them out of the spare room and he can grab a couple at a time when he comes.
Still not sure that packing his things is a good idea but, if I am going to be moving at some point, it would be easier to have his stuff done!
Mixed emotions...H had some pics on the fridge in the garage of all of his favorite things, there was a family pic, his hot rod, another old car, D12 in a cast (not that that was a favorite!) etc etc. It just reinforced my belief in MLC as he has left so much of what those pictures meant to him behind...I truly hope and pray everyday that he will come through this before it is too late!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Still not sure that packing his things is a good idea but, if I am going to be moving at some point, it would be easier to have his stuff done!
Do you mean in case it sends the wrong message to your H or that he needs to pack his own stuff?
Here's my opinion: if you are comfortable being in limbo, then that is OK!
If you are wanting to rock the boat a little (and remember, it may not even move for the WASs)then pack up the stuff and not say anything about it. It is a message. An action.
BUT
If you are wanting to pack the stuff for practicality reasons, here is a genius suggestion (from my IC), let him know. "I am packing up your stuff so I have more room in the house" or "I packed your stuff so I can get it out of the way before I move." (moving doesn't mean you don't want to R! remember that!)
And I won't dare tell you what I think you should do because I am learning eventually we all know what we want and it is best to do it when we are ready.
Last edited by newmama; 07/06/1002:49 AM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
About the packing H's stuff. Over the last 2 months I was organizing some closets and pulled out everything of his that he didn't take with him and packed it. Told him to go through it before I give it away...I did it on couple of occasions and every time I got annoyed looks from H...he didn't like me doing that...
I really needed to make room before my friend comes and lives with me, so it wasn't for the "message"...but it served that purpose as well.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Someone explained why the MLCer leaves things behind. It was stated that the MLCer wants nothing to do with or remind them of the trappings of their old life. (I equate it with a snake shedding its skin.) lol
My H only took some clothes and a few personal items. The rest he left here. I packed it up and told him to come and get it. He told me there wasn't room for it. I ended up throwing some of it away and storing the rest.
