I think exposure backfired?

[AntoniaB]

Yeah you guys are right. A friend of mine said that all of the blaming of oneself just serves to distract one from blaming the other person who left, and really, truly, that person is to blame, because he or she kept us all in the dark and deliberately hid info that would have helped things get better. It is sort of a passive way for them to end the marriage because they were too lazy to do any work on it. I think it's TERRIBLY cowardly. And we're the left behind ones because we're ultimately stronger.

I want to say that I have not seen my WAH since Saturday afternoon and the last email exchange was Sunday morning. That's the longest I've gone at this stage in the progression(hitting one month in a few days)because last time he left by one month we were pretty much dating again or talking often. I know that friends have told him that he cannot expect to be my best friend after this, as long as he's with the OW, and he is really banking on that not being true, so I've got to make it come true or else I enable him to keep avoiding the reality of all of this.

BTW a friend of mine went through all this crap with her 7 year boyfriend and fiance--and he has now told her that there was not one day when he didn't think about her and what he left behind when he went the way of dating other women, and he said no matter what kind of bravado he showed to her, that he was indeed constantly saying in his mind things like "well this girl is great but not as great as the one I left."