I think setting up a personal expense account and letting your H handle it himself is an excellent idea. There is no reason on God's green earth why you should have to have those kinds of personal expense receipts to deal with.
I'd sure like to know what your H is getting out of it by having you see them. Can someone really be that oblivious to the pain it would cause?
I'm so glad you're pursuing your own business venture and taking steps to get that off the ground.
Your H will certainly get a reality check when the consequences of what he considers his entitlement hit.
I'm so happy to hear the strength within you coming through. You certainly can't keep a good woman down.
Thank you Eric - I'm rediscovering myself, learning to live again....it is like after a major car accident...you suffer in great pain...you slowly heal...you learn to walk again...then run....you get my drift
SA - I really don't understand the cruelty with the receipts and other things he does... especially because he is trying to be quite friendly with me on one hand and pulling crap like that on the other....has me puzzled
He is in Europe with OW now...as much as I don't want to think about him...my thoughts wonder...I know the routine at his sister's house so well that I know what they are doing at certain hours...trying not to think about it.
But generally I have built-up my armor and although I'm nostalgic...I'm not desolate and I haven't cried for a long time.
Spending lots of time with my new single girlfriend...she is great for me...little bit of a free-spirit, content in her single life...living it to the fullest and having lots of fun doing it....she is an inspiration. Funny how you meet the right people at the right time.
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Thank goodness that we cannot get inside the heads of our MLCer's...I seriously think that is what Hell must look like!
He is crazy for giving you that receipt for condoms...geezz!!! Maybe he wanted you to know that he is practicing safe sex! LOL!
I am so glad that you have this friend to pal around with! It is truly amazing as you said how you meet the right people at the right time. It just proves that God is there working behind the scenes!!!
You are sounding very good!!!!
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I have no idea what up with those condoms...when he dropped the bomb that was one of the first things that I asked...did you use protection?...the answer was no, we don't need it...that got me to the doctor pretty fast...so I don't know why now???
Who cares...I just don't need my nose rubbed in it....no pun intended LOL
I'm still sitting at my computer...working...company year end...yuk...need to get it done this week
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IMO....The condom issue is his attempt at making you hurt because he does. He want's you pissed at him. It makes it easier for him. He cannot understand how you can still be kind with him. He is confused...he is hurt...he knows he wronged you and yet you show kindness. Deep inside his heart - he knows he is F'd up...so he screams...(internally that is)...be mad at me Mila, be upset with me, make this easier for me, please mila just be mad at me.
Your loving grace will forever haunt him. He will regret his choices for a very long time...very long...BUT
It is no longer about him and you know it. It is no longer about his CONTROL over YOUR LIFE. It is all about YOU....
About you...your kindness, your heart, your soul, the beauty that is in YOU....let it shine girl...let it shine and keep moving forward with ALL OF YOUR DREAMS.
I thought about you last night Mila...thought about your strength. Thought about how much you have endure. Then....I smiled....I smiled cause I know that one day...in your next R (albeit with H or not)...that guy is one gonna be one lucky SOB.
Your a doll and whatever you do...don't let H change that. As scripture would say...in your anger do not sin.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Mila........Your loving grace will forever haunt him. He will regret his choices for a very long time...very long...BUT
It is no longer about him and you know it. It is no longer about his CONTROL over YOUR LIFE. It is all about YOU....
WOW! Eric, you certainly have a way with words!.......and Mila, this praise is well-deserved!
I'm not a guy and don't really think like a guy so it's great to have a man's perspective on this issue....but when I read what you wrote about the condoms, the first thing I thought was "maybe OW has an STD --- something like warts or herpes" that H found out about recently???
Regarding your interactions with H Mila, I really want to encourage you to keep DB'ing with H.....and by that I mean continue to take the high road and respond to H with kindness. I'm not saying to be a doormat, but state your boundaries with kindness and respect. Treat him like a man, not like a child with whom you are irritated regardless of what he does. Vent elsewhere and treat him with respect, the same way you would treat an acquaintance or client. As my XH is beginning to peek out of the fog I am beginning to see the wisdom of this advice. This is how you keep the road home smooth and paved.
Earlier I wrote you that XH and I went kayaking on saturday. The next day I wrote him a short thank you e-mail and got a nice, longish chatty e-mail back today. WOW! In it he admitted that he was a bit tense while kayaking (because he had an important meeting afterward) and said he would like to go kayaking again in the near future (WOW!!!!). He even apologized for telling me he wasn't comfortable with me using the powder room at his house after we loaded up the kayaks and were getting ready to drive to the creek (said he thought I would feel uncomfortable seeing "our" furniture in his house). WOW AGAIN!!! This comment indicates some sensitivity for MY feelings. This is new territory for us and is much more like the H that I knew.
I DB'ed my a$$ off for 15 months, until the D was final. Aside from getting him to interact with me in a friendly manner H/XH always declined my invitations to do fun things together. His walls were so high and DB'ing seemed to have little effect on him. Now, all of a sudden, since XH has begun to peek out of his tunnel, DB'ing seems to be having an effect on him. I wanted you to know this. If you feel that DB'ing is not having any effect on your H it may be because he is at a point in his MLC crisis that he is not able to respond......but that doesn't mean that he won't ever respond.
Eric - thank you my friend....You really think that he is doing it to piss me off? Well it would be an explanation...so I'll take it...don't have a better one LOL. The thing is that I'm not all that upset by it anymore...I guess I'm becoming immune to it....and that's where I need to be.
Thank you for your kind words...you made my day....week...month
million ((((hugs)))) to you Eric
Thank you for the visit SA - I'm good, sitting behind my computer and still working...long hours...have a deadline. But a good day. I was taking breaks from work every so often and going out to lie down by the pool for 1/2 hour...until bunch of teens took over the yard LOL. Then my break was to make spaghetti sauce and feed them all and now I'm back at work.
H is on "vacation" with OW so it's quiet...but my thoughts keep wondering way too often as I'm visualizing all the special places that we visited together...and now he is showing them to her...yuk
Accept for that I'm calm and concentrating on me
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