Thank you again everyone. It feels so great to have so much support. I don't discuss what is/has been going on with many people...without walking in our shoes- they have no way of truly understanding our stages of anger, grief, sadness, acceptance...and any other emotion under the sun.
I will read those articles tonight. I have read the detachment article on Livestrong several times. It is one of my favorites.
I haven't called my H at all in several months. I have texted back and forth a bit just to see when he is coming for stuff..financial stuff that we just finished separating..and trying to figure out where these divorce papers are..although I think I have a good idea now. I don't ask my H any questions about how he is doing, where he is living...etc. I don't respond when he tells me he is sorry or feeling lousy.
My H just left..moody H. H who just left my basement a wreck after grabbing more of his stuff. H who left his garbage on my clean floors. H who didn't even say goodbye to the dogs that were staring at him for his attention and affection. He was cold.
I asked him again about the divorce papers. He is telling me that he cannot find them online and he hasn't been able to get them from anyone he knows...which I find crazy since he is an attorney for 15 years. H told me he could get me uncontested divorce papers..but cannot get me papers for adultery. I told him that was unacceptable.
I have always told him that I wanted to file as adultery. I would not have him served. I would not have OW served. I will mail him the papers and he can hand the OW the copy. I am not looking to embarress him...but I do want my divorce papers to state the truth. He is against this. I think I may just get a lawyer to send the papers because I feel like he is dragging this on..it has been 3 months of waiting.
He has been moving his stuff out for several weeks. He still left here today without all of his stuff...and he said he cannot come back this week to grab anymore- he will have to come back again next week. Ughh.
I believe his niceness to me was not really to be nice- he wanted me to re-think filing adultery on our divorce papers. That makes me sad that his niceness is so conditional...but I have known this about him for quite some time.
I didn't raise my voice at all...I didn't feel like I was going to cry (like some other times he came here to grab some stuff) but I did stare directly at him when we were discussing the divorce papers. He didn't yell but had that cold look in his eyes....and he left with that attitude. I don't know why...but I still find it so strange that we are less than strangers now. He has been this way for quite some time. I have just seen some "positive" signs from him lately which made me think- my old H is back. He isn't back...and this is why I cannot be friends with him.
