That's all. Do I dance around gloating in her face? Do I tell her I'm sorry to hear about her trouble? Do I tell her to wake-up, get some help and recommit to the marriage and our family? Tell her about PEA's and give her some literature. Or do I just say, I talked to OMW and she said OM has another OW, that he recently met, give her the name and address so she knows I'm not just making it up.
I htought there should be some darts to deliver, but maybe this isn't the time. I don't know if this will change her feelings about staying in the marriage or not. She may just chalk it up and say she still doesn't want to be with my anyway and is still going through with the divorce.
I was going to write-up some things I wanted to say to her and post them here first, but I haven't had time yet.
I invited some neighbors over on 4th for a couple beers and listen to some music. W sat down with us, next to me, and joined the conversation. When she went in the house the neighbors were both surprised that she came and sat down with us like nothing was going on.
Then we all went to another neighbor's for a party and to shoot off some fireworks. One of the neighbors (female) said W seemed a bit reserved. I sat next to W on the deck steps for a while. She got up for a smoke and came back and sat down next to me again. We talked a bit and things seemed to be going well, but then, they always seem that way to me, because we aren't fighting at all. Anyway, started playing some rock and roll and started singing and dancing around the deck with another guy who is in a band. Everyone was laughing and having a good time.
Then the other guy decides to take his shirt off, so I do too. I've lost 30lbs recently, so I am looking thin, but still pretty soft. Neighbor's wife told me today that I looked good with my shirt off and maybe I should walk around W that way more often. She said she noticed W looking at me. I didn't notice at all. I really didn't care, was just having a good time. W went home with the kids about 11:30 and most others left between midnight and 1am. I stayed until about 2:30 BS-ing with husband.
Things are going pretty well for me, but I still am hoping that she changes her mind. Trying not to act that way though!
Anybody care to be any more specific than Puppy was about how to approach this? Do I just tell her the following, and then let it go? Or should I get into any R talk - only if she brings it up, right?
Hey W, got a minute? I’ve got a really good one for you that you are just going to love.
When is the last time you talked to OM? Then she will lie or not want to talk about it. Well, I talked to OMW on Monday evening and it appears that OM has OW2 now that he met a few weeks ago in Las Vegas. Her name is such and such and she lives at this address. I guess maybe Mr. wonderful isn’t quite so wonderful after all, huh?
I could really use some specific advice as to how far to take this and if darts are in order.
OW2 is not your problem. It sounds like you are gloating and want to rub her face in it - not productive. When she realizes the lifeboat is gone her response to you will change. Keep going about your business and doing what works.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Ok. Thanks Puppy and coach. No gloating, although I would really L-O-V-E to.
My problem is, I'm not sure what works at this point. Everything seems to remain the same no matter what happens. Maybe that means her mind really is made-up regardless of anything else. Have to stop mind reading and just keep-on with GAL.
It is getting much easier and some days I even find myself wondering if I wouldn't maybe be better-off with someone else in the end anyway. I don't believe that yet, but I do wonder.
My problem is, I'm not sure what works at this point. Everything seems to remain the same no matter what happens. Maybe that means her mind really is made-up regardless of anything else. Have to stop mind reading and just keep-on with GAL.
It is getting much easier and some days I even find myself wondering if I wouldn't maybe be better-off with someone else in the end anyway. I don't believe that yet, but I do wonder.
WTH, Dan? Did you use your super secret mind-reading powers to read my mind then post what you know I was thinking?
