Ok Shel ... You're getting plenty of touchy feely from the 'guys' so I'm gonna tell it to ya straight ... it's time to gather up the kleenex boxes, throw the empty tequila bottle into the recycling bin and clean up after this pity party!
Time to live up to some of your posts ...
Originally Posted By: beingreal
I like it here in the sun. I like my life. I like me.
And from a post to me ....
Originally Posted By: beingreal
Fwiw--I am just nowlearning the real meaning of the phrase "It is what it is." Nothingmore, nothing less. And nothing can change it. See it. Learn from it. Let it go.
In another one to me ...
Originally Posted By: beingreal
I can't let that affect me & my journey. We can't go forward if we are glancing over our shoulder
This speaks to positivity and looking ahead ... two things you need to focus on ... it doesn’t matter what that is ...somedays it will be situations beyond your control, somedays it’ll be people you interact with ... whatever ...
I get it, trust me I do. Sometimes we take one in the solar plexus and we stagger for a moment, lord knows I've hosted my fair share of pity parties, but I'm going to tell you what y'all have told me ... get up, dust it off, and start stepping forward for you. Your strength is within YOU. Girl, you have done too much work to be sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. You deserve better than that.
In my experience, whatever throws you off is a distraction, shedding light on area that needs work ... highlighting an insecurity or fear you need to concentrate on, beat down and conquer.
You know the drill ...
(((hugs))) PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
Oh Eric..Thank you. Since it's on you, I think I'll step out of the comfort zone & try that Car Bomb now.
Seriously... what you have been through makes me ashamed to think that I've ever had it so hard. Your will to live has been incredible. And it has gone from a "F You! Just watch me!" attitude to a "I don't care if anyone ever sees this--I'm living for me." It's been an incredible metamorphosis. I know you've told me to go back & read your old threads--but I don't want to. I appreciate Eric, the man, just the way he is now.
I don't have to see how far you've come to see how special you are.
You have nothing to prove to anyone, my friend.
True... I will sip slowly. No crutches here. I made the choice over the weekend to step a little further into the light--on my own. No one can hold my hand and protect me from what is going to happen.
No one should. This is all on me from now on.
Breathtaking. And terrifying.
I've realized that I'm going to have my really good days... and I'm going to have my really bad days. It's just part of it.
My friends will appreciate the good days.
My best friends will understand that the crazy train does sometimes go off the tracks. Those are the folks who will gently put me back on the tracks--assured that I'll eventually make it back to the station.
And don't ask me where the train analogy came from. lol
someone posted on another thread--I think PEIs, maybe?--about this journey, & this part of the process in particular, NOT being an either/or kind of thing. That is really good to know because I'm starting to feel a little bipolar here lately.
So to those that have already had their ticket punched and gone for a ride on the crazy train with me, thanks for not bailing. But hold on--I think I'm taking the scenic route on this one.
And now for my latest facebook status... because it's so damn relevant right now. For everyone...
You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see... but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
I'm from Ohio & I know what that means. Although to be fair, half of our population comes directly from Kin-tuck. Olive Hill, Kintuck, to be exact, thinkyavarymush.
And another thing, I'm off my ass dammit!!
I got knocked on it, sure. I was just taking a moment to get my bearings & figure out where to step first, is all.
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
