What does this mean?- the WH's regrets?

[Piano]

Hey, sorry it was sad to part ways with WH after the family-time together. His family sound cool though! I'd try to keep those relationships up as much as possible.
So where is WH now? At his place? And when does he come over next?

[gatsby11]

Good questions, P. Because things are changing up again!

Yeah, he's still living at his own place. I cut off overnights when I told him we couldn't hang out. His next time to come over is tomorrow night. and I keep forgetting that I have to leave! Ugh, I don't want to. I'd rather hang out with WH! But I know I have to.

Also, his parents came over to talk AGAIN. It's frustrating because his mom sort of blames me. Not really, but she thinks that I was blameless at the beginning but then I have fault later. Like, I moved out. So that was wrong of me. (I have fought this so hard. I know some dbers stay, but I couldn't!) Plus, I'm too independent. I explained, though, that I told WH I wanted to try to make it work. And that if not, we couldn't hang out. And that he reiterated that he didn't want to make it work. She was shocked! I'm like, "hel-LO!" I don't know if WH is misleading her or if she just can't believe her son could be so awful.

WH's dad, though, says he thinks Wh is the "bad guy." He said specifically (and it's so true) "This time is supposed to be about the baby. and WH made it all about him." Yup.

Anyways, I'm tired. LIttle girl is finally quiet in her swing, grr. NM, do you feel like you sleep pretty well with your 9 month old? I know that he can sleep long stretches, but can you look forward to going home and going to sleep? I can't wait for that to come back, if it can........... !!!

[newmama]

Whoa, your MIL is still not "getting it?" It must be due to not being able to face the fact her son did this. I wonder if your FIL will talk to her about it since he sees the reality. I bet even just over the next month, your MIL will start to see the truth.

About sleeping- are you asking if my nights are smooth? Well here is the absolute truth and maybe married moms do this too- I can't sleep through the night, even if S is sleeping through the night, because I wake up 1-2x to check on him! I look in the video monitor and see if he has a blanket or is still breathing. Then I will go to his room and put his blanket back over him if need be.

On nights that he is with stbxh, I sleep like a rock! (as long as I am not feeling depressed or anxious that day!)


It's hard, Gatsby...I wanted so badly for stbxh to have to take him alone and do it alone for a week just so he could see what I had to do...YOU ARE DOING AN AWESOME JOB!!! Feel proud! I mean it!

[gatsby11]

She still doesn't 'get it', yeah! Last time this happened, in April, I was pissed and talked to her about it. But now I just don't care. She'll believe what she'll believe.

One to two checks a night! I can totally do that and have a good night's sleep. At the end of the pregnancy i was getting up about 6 times to pee and I still felt like i was sleeping well. I just have to push through. . .

Thanks, NM!

[gatsby11]

Well, it wasn't very easy being distant tonight. I had to show him how to bottle feed her (successful day of pumping, yay!) and burp her and stuff like that. So we had a lot more contact than I wanted. But I did rest in the bedroom and go on a 45 minute walk while he was here, so it's a start.

[newmama]

Bravo! It is unrealistic that you will be gone 100% while your H is there...you have a newborn. Plus, you said he doesn't know what to do anyway, right?

So being gone for that period of time was the maximum thing you could have done (realistically), in my opinion. So, excellent job taking advantage of that.

Weren't you going to talk to him about something, though???

[gatsby11]

Oh well, we did talk when I said I wanted to try to make this work and he basically said no. That was the talk! It wasn't exactly as I planned it, but it was the main message.

Yeah, it is going to be hard to do this low contact thing until we really get our routine down.

He's been contacting me thru text with things not related to the baby. I haven't really written back. Once I wrote back with business but started with a smiley face to acknowledge what he had written.

Oh, WH. He's trying to push being friends and I'm pushing away from that! So weird.

[gatsby11]

Back to my regular thread.

Tonight when I saw him I tried to be a little bit more towards nurturing the friendship. He had all sorts of songs he wanted to play for me, so I listened and agreed that they were good. They really were good!

About 15 minutes in I said that he and his mom should probably be getting back to his place so they could pack. He was like, "Oh. Really? Okay." But they stayed for probably 15 minutes longer.

(He's moving out of our formerly joint apartment to a place with a guy friend.)

Just trying to be detailed so later I can use this info if necessary!

Might have to change my signature.... but man, only 200 characters? That's stinkin HARD!

[newmama]

Just making sure...did you tell your WH that he had to leave to pack in order to get him out or because you were being helpful? (or both?)

If you were doing it to be helpful, I thought "why would Gatsby need to tell him he has to go pack? Can't he figure that out by himself?"

Either way, he definitely sounded like he didn't want to go!

About the sig...yeah I would love to do a recap of the last 15 months but no rooM! I liked how you included a list of the changing status of your relationship with him.

[gatsby11]

Well, I was trying to be helpful. Hee hee. But he and his mom had been mentioning that they needed to pack and I was about to feed so I thought it was a good time. So then we had this awkward me trying to cover my breast thing since he was here. Which is a little silly to me. I don't care. I only care to be like "look what you can't see"! Ha ha ha.

One of the songs WH played which is just such a good song is Trouble by Cat Stevens. Look it up if you haven't listened to it yet! So soulful!