Jack, my husband keeps telling me that guys are visual and he, in particular, has a real aversion to overweightness. But when I told my C that, he said not to kid myself that women are visual too. He asked me which I would prefer..a really ripped good looking guy with lots of thick wavy hair..or a bald guy that was all flabby and out of shape. of course if I had a choice (which I do) I would PREFER the ripped guy. Maybe what you mean is that women can be a bit more forgiving when it comes to looks than men are. they tend to focus a little bit more on the inner person. Generaly speaking. Doesn't matter anyway. What it boils down to is that we should never let ourselves go..it's not good for your self esteem or your health.
I love Robin Williams, but your quote went right over my head. Sorry. Like I said to someone else, my brain is mush these days. it's coming back tho..slowly but surely. As for the boundry thing...you're right..I am not prepared to give any kind of ultimatum because I want this to work. And I'm afraid of what will happen to me if it doesn't. I know I'll be ok, that's not it..just the hoops I'll have to jump thru to get there aren't that appealing to me right now. I think my C feels that I should tell him to give her up totally or get out and get divorced. it is my belief that he thinks it will shock him into reality. I'm just not prepared to take that chance. What, if in his altered state, he takes me up on it and then regrets it later. I don't want to go there yet. I'm sure some of my friends feel the same way..however, that is why I was wondering about the OP withdrawl. I keep reading that when a person gives up the affair person, they go thru the withdrawl..and according to my H, that is what is happening. So..how can I learn more about that? I sound like the MLCer, don't I? and I don't know how to pull out indiv quotes like you did to answer specific things.
