Antonia the book is important, but its not YOUR fault your husband went to OW instead of a family therapist

When people feel like your H does they have two choices :

a. Have an affair and trash my marriage
b. See a family therapist and imporve it

The people HERE choose B, your HUSBAND chose A... that's not YOUR fault he took the wrong road and won't fix his mistakes

It's HIS and HE has to correct it