I think exposure backfired?

[AntoniaB]

Ha ha, see that's what I wonder about, does the LBS dating someone even just casually start to nudge the WAS into taking a second look at the LBS and wonder if they made a mistake in choosing the OW, or does it really not matter at all and if they weren't going to ever reconcile with the LBS, this makes no difference?

On another note I found something pretty devastating today. I was looking through books my WAH brought home from when we were separated last year and he went to a few individual counseling sessions. There was a book he had me order for him on relationship issues, and I noticed only today that he had highlighted tons of passages in the book. Keep in mind that this all came BEFORE he even met the OW. All the passages explain his emotional disconnect and detachment and loss of romantic love for me. He had highlighted passages about how he was faking the relationship for me at his own expense, that he was starting to resent me for not letting him be his own person, yadda yadda.

What kills me about this is that it was RIGHT THERE under my nose all this time. He never asked me to look at this book or read it; he never discussed his feelings that were in there plain as day. So I never knew of the many ways we could have worked together to fix things. And the worst part is that I was the one who pushed counseling on him, and I even found this counselor for him who basically gave him the mantra "do whatever makes you happy" and I guess that meant leaving me without telling me that we could ever work on anything. In addition, he stopped marking the book or reading it precisely at the chapter where it tells you how to FIX these issues and save your relationship.

It all makes me feel that this OW has NOTHING to do with this in a way, and that it has everything to do with him not being in love with me anymore and that even if the OW is out of the picture, we're done. That makes me feel like total and utter crap. It was RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE and I never saw it.