Ahh...Great America; haven't been there in years. When I taught school in New Lenox I took some students there. It's fun, but definitely not a place if you're sick.
From a female's perspective.... you are way different at 31 than 41. You still haven't a clue who you are at 31 and at 41 you are well on your way. You're insecure and looking for approval at 31, at 41 you don't give a crap because you have already validated yourself. At 31 you want marriage, babies, the white picket fence. At 41 enough of life has passed to know there is no such thing as the fairy tale and it takes a lot of darn work on BOTH parts to make things happen.
IMHO, she would be your "rebound relationship." Now, there's nothing wrong with that, I'm just saying it is what it is.
Glad you have that support group; I'm a fan of stuff like that having done a 10-week support group myself last fall.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
CTH, just catching up on your thread! How be you promise us that you won't drink and drive again...running over the for sale sign wasn't the dumb thing, it was the drinking and driving part. Hey, we want you around a while longer!
That was the same thought I had when I read it, you were drunk AND driving?? Not a good plan, man....how embarrassing would it be to get a DUI or worse yet accidentally hit someone?
Learn and move forward, as always. Glad that you had fun on the fourth with the ladies.
Yep not a good idea. I also think you should hold off on dating. Why does everyone seem to want to rush in? Are you over your W or are you looking for someone to make you feel better? Either way, it isn't really fair to hurt someone else by this situation. Meeting a group of friends, fine. You really need to work through this, pain and all.
Sorry, I know it isn't what you wanted to hear.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Kat, when we guys feel wounded we want to be validated. Somehow we've never learned to do that for ourselves, so we turn to women to make us feel whole again. You're right, it's not the way to go. You read it over and over again on my fellow males threads. CTH, it is a good idea to just be you for awhile, going to church groups where they have outings is a way to interact with women but not have the dating pressure and complicated situations that could arise. Feel better, guy!
Taking all of the advice in. I don't think I was drunk ... just really down and the few drinks I did have contributed to the situation ... but yes I have to be careful. In my case, if I were to get a DUI it would appear in the newspaper because I'm high enough profile there (I'm an editor).
Plus, my dad got several DUIs after he got divorced. It's part of the reason I didn't see him for nearly three years.
I am really, really glad to be through the 4th. Girls came over last night. D11 watched the Michael Jackson movie and D7 played on the Wii. Today, I couldn't really get them motivated until 2 p.m. Not a big deal. It's summer. Lazy days.
Finally, I got them off to a children's museum, then D11's tuba lessons and finally swimming.
Good day. Hopefully five more.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
From a female's perspective.... you are way different at 31 than 41. You still haven't a clue who you are at 31 and at 41 you are well on your way. You're insecure and looking for approval at 31, at 41 you don't give a crap because you have already validated yourself. At 31 you want marriage, babies, the white picket fence. At 41 enough of life has passed to know there is no such thing as the fairy tale and it takes a lot of darn work on BOTH parts to make things happen.
Be careful about generalizing...I am 28. I know who I am, don't need a man to validate who I am, I know it takes two parts to work a M, and I know there is no such thing as fairy tales (although i do dream). Since 31 has also been divorced, she may have learned her lesson.
CTH - I have no problem with the age. I actually have two friends, one 23 and the other 24, they both married older divorced men, the one married a 34 year old with 4 kids and the other married a 40 year old with 2 kids. They are both happily married so age doesn't matter. What does matter is that you are ready for something and know what you want whether it is casual dating or a committed R, but don't do anything until you are ready and have had some time to heal old wounds.
Have a ton of fun with the girls!
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
Somehow I missed the mowing down the for-sale sign part...
As for dating I do agree with the others and I know how hard it is not to go there especially if there's a girl that's already interested in you. It's like a dog with a sausage collar...yeah I just made that up lol
Anyway, however, if you aren't jumping in with both feet and kinda keeping her as a girl you like and trying to get to know her then I don't see what could be harmful? Just have to do it with the full presence of your mind. Don't just accept her because you're needy without making sure she's the right woman for you. And to know that you have to have a pretty good idea of your perfect match.
Last edited by StupidRomeo; 07/07/1003:47 AM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
