Yes, I did gain some weight..but didn't realize that it would cause our marriage to fail.
Originally Posted By: ltaylor
The only thing that my H says he'd like to see change is my weight
This friggin' p!sses me off ... just sayin' ... you are the total package not a number on a scale ... if you want to lose weight for YOU so you feel better about yourself or whatever, then go for it.
Originally Posted By: ltaylor
I can be a bit controlling, (found out thru C that it is related to abandonemnt stuff)and am working on that too. He has problems with decision making so I naturally assumed the role, someone had to. But believe me when I say I would love to give up some of the control..be equal partners..so I just need for him to figure out how to take some control without going overboard and being a jerk about it.
Control is an ugly beast ... I've been fighting this one for a long time, I've lost a few battles but I'm winning the war. As you take this journey it will surprise you over and over again ... it will surface when you least expect it and in ways you've never noticed ...
Originally Posted By: ltaylor
We have figured out that we need to learn how to communicate better..I thought we were but not the case, I guess. We never fought, he doesn't like raised voices or arguing so most things were left unsaid and buried..
Us too ... this was the red flag we missed ...
Originally Posted By: ltaylor
everyone thought we had the best relationship and wanted to be like us.
You will be amazed at how often you read that exact sentiment on here!
Originally Posted By: ltaylor
damned if I plan fun stuff and damned if I let him sit around and relax.
This right here is why you need to change your focus to you. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. You can't please him right now ... you can't make this better ... you can't fix him ... and you can't fix the sitch. You can, however, begin to heal yourself. Grow, learn, feel ... do this for YOU.
Originally Posted By: ltaylor
he is the one that needs to figure out what he wants.
He's right.
Originally Posted By: ltaylor
The hardest thing to do is sit back and watch them try to figure it out and know that in their altered state they could throw it all away and then later regret it,
My advice here would be to stop watching then ... focus on you, look at Eric's post ... think about you ...
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
