Sounds like you are quite discouraged. R talk will do that to you. Much of the advice you have been given has been offered with the intention of protecting you and your feelings as well as attacking the A. Don't be tempted to wallow, hug your girls, and keep going.
Having canned responses to some of the things I hear over and over, really helps.
For example:
W: Our M is doomed. I want a D. Ken: I do not want a D. I will not help you do that. (Exit, Walk away, do not discuss it any further)
You must focus on not engaging in convo w/ her. Make your point and go. She will use anything more than that to justify her behavior. You are giving her tons of ammo.
Read Seeing red's post today on hindsight.
You have been talking about RO's for awhile now. Take care of it! Let go of the fear of pushing her to OM. Odds are, if you handle this properly, you will push her to OM and that will prove to be a miserable choice for her w/ awful consequences and the A will end. All of your dilly-dallying around is prolonging things. A long time ago I told you your sitch was a lot like the example sitch Dr Harley uses (Sue greg Jon)in "Surviving an Affair". Did you ever read it?
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
