So I had a few tough moments today. I realized that I still miss her company, I miss her companionship, I feel lonely without her in my life. Then I started feeling upset about why she would do this when I would give her anything she could ask for. I got angry that DD has to suffer the most, maybe it's DD that I missed so much today not STBXW.
I think the trigger was me emptying the dressers etc that she wants. Just thinking back about when we got those things. Why couldn't things be that way again? I also found an old tank-top of hers and it was the last straw to force a few tears out of me. I remember when she used to wear it...those old summer days- I hadn't seen it for a while. For an instant I wanted to keep it but I know better- that'll just be torture.
Romeo, the holidays can be a tough time. I usually spend such times with my wife and family but there are times where I haven't and you do feel that aloneness. I'm sure July 4 was always a family time for you and it's just not the same anymore. You did great though BBQing with the neighbours and going for a bike ride with a friend, hats off to you! What you mention above is something pretty normal, you've been separated since March, if I recall, that's still not a long time to get over having your heart ripped out...for the second time. Hang in there, it will get better! Btw, go with the turtle, they look so cool hanging their heads out the passenger side window of your truck!
