Setting them free

[Bridgestone]

If I keep ignoring him will it really go away?

yes ... you are giving him a reward by responding.

If I respond when my XH gets in his woe-is-me (or pissy) texting mode ... I send one final text.

Good night.. or bye...

something indicating I am no longer reading and the conversation is done. Then I set my phone on silent & go GAL.

At first it increases the frequency of the texts as they text and/or call to see if they can hook you in... but then eventually, even ones like Dan & my XH learn that they aren't going to get from you what ever it was they were seeking.

You are in education.. read about how it works for teachers & student behaviours here.

http://wik.ed.uiuc.edu/index.php/Extinction

Note particularly the section about extinticon by omission

Extinction by Omission

In these cases the teacher or authority figure completely removes any reinforcement in response to the student’s misbehavior. As seen above, this may require the teacher to completely ignore the student. Generally, in cases where omission is used the teacher can expect:

* An initial increase in the frequency of the unwanted behavior (O’Reilly et al., 1999)
* An escalation in the type of misbehavior the student is engaging in (Shukla-Mehta and Albin, 2003)
* An extended (and sometimes repeated) period of time for the treatment to take effect (O’Reilly et al., 1999)

Think of dealing with Dan's texting & unwanted drop-ins, bad communication like you would one of the students. How would you handle that?

Bridge