And here I am .... H's MLC ....

[PEI]

Grit,

A couple of observations:

In the stages of LBS.

There is a stage called "Temptation in the face of complete rejection."

This is where you have been working so hard on this and you are not seeing results and then are tempted to chuck it.

Probably looks like this is where I'm at ... but this isn't it for me. For me, that would involve some anger, resentment, dispair ... something like that ... I've got PEACE.

Let me say I am not trying to convince you what to do with your M. It is your choice and only you can ultimately decide what is right for you.

I know

If your H is MLC it WILL take a long time for you to see anything you begin to like.

Actually, I see lots I like ... we get along really well ... as friends. He has a long journey ahead of him, he really does, and it's his journey and I wish him well. And to be honest, although there are lots of MLC signs, I really get the feeling that he was more WAH ... and 'in the end, it doesn't really matter' (nickle Linkin Park). It was what it was. And it was 15 years of love and friendship, punctuated by a very damaging dynamic created by two immature and skill-less (is that a word??) individuals. For lots of it, we had a great time, we brought 3 beautiful kids into this world ... no regrets. Not from me

As Mach said to me, just think how much effort and time it took for you to come to the place you are at now...

Absolutely fair ... and to be honest, this path was something I started before I found the boards, it was haphazard and unintentional ... but I've been seeking peace for a long time.

Are you saying you want to get a D?

I am not in love with my H. I now know enough about who we were and who I am to know that there is no going back for me. I am only going forward. Do I want a D? If I'm honest, really honest ... then I guess my answer is that I am ready ...

I've been here for several months, and I know a lot of you are looking at my 'registered' date and thinking WTF ... she just got here? Doesn't she know MLC is for the long haul ...

I do know this. And I know that I intend to support him as a friend and as the mother of his children as he takes this journey. We are very different people now.

Are you saying you are going to live your life?...

Because that is what you should be doing regardless.

I couldn't agree more!

These things did not happen overnight and they will not be rectified or reconciled overnight.

Just something to think about...

and only my humble opinion.

Thank you Grit, really. Without the tough questions we can falsely believe we are healing or growing or moving forward ... I welcome the tough stuff, it's how I propel myself forward, how I challenge myself to go deep and really look for answers.

... humble ... really? you?

Peace
PEI