I just saw a Coach thread about "lovingly detaching" where a H would try to use the Love Lang's to be "catnip" and still "scratch the itch" of the W's emotional needs. I'm presuming both you and especially Sandi2 would rule this out in cases of OM until THAT is confronted; exposed and DONE.
Again, I am still conflicted over GAL'ing/detaching (which will tend to leave her be and almost isolated) and changing my behaviour to myself (happy, touchy; a 180 from where I was in the last two years)so she would see less reason to leave. THOSE are the changes she would notice and make her think. The detaching is giving her "more of the same" from where I stand.
Is there a better explanation or motivation behind these two that I am missing?
I see detaching as giving her what she "wants" (sep and Div)versus what she "needs" is Coach's version.
Is the difference between approaches and strategies simply the presence of EA/PA?
