What luvless means is that you are allowing your H to control your every emotion and response to your sitch. He KNOWS that this is hurting you; BUT he doesn't see the STRONG women who would NEVER accept his treatment of her.
You must change you because WE cannot change a person. Take care and charge of yourself because if your marriage does have a chance to survive, it can only come through changes in both of you.
Focus on you and your children and be strong. He needs to SEE that YOU are worthy.
QUOTE TO THINK ABOUT: "People cannot go wrong, if you don't let them. They cannot go right, unless you let them."
Me 41/H 49 M 12yrs No Kids Bomb 1/10/2010 H Deployed The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense. T. Edison
Thank you for your reply Shelldoll. This is all so confusing, I'm not sure I understand what you mean when you say I'm letting him control my responses to the sitch?? I understand I can only change me, that is good advice thank you. Everytime I say I won't stand for these things he says neither will he and threatens to leave so I'm not sure how I should be standing up for myself and being strong without him going??
How do you respond when your H says something to you? Your reactions is based on what he says and does. You need to be NON-REACTIVE or at least state what you will not tolerate (BE Strong). Right now, your reaction is very predictable to him.
Think about what makes you strong. Have you ever thought about what you thinks makes you strong?
Me 41/H 49 M 12yrs No Kids Bomb 1/10/2010 H Deployed The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense. T. Edison
