Ha!, thanks 4luv, we were posting at the same time! I was on Gucci's thread.
Thankyou so much for your most helpful post!!
"Do not try to control the situation". I AGREE! This has been my big issue. I am a fixer and what the last 6 months has taught me is that that has destroyed my M (at least any chance of reconciling anyway, post-bomb). So no more of that.
WH is going to fail as a father, I just know it. He doesn't have it in him, and livng 17,000kms away which is his want, he'll never have the chace to turn that phrophecy around and make a go of fatherhood. Perhaps why I am so desperate to "save" him/us/the child from this fate.
Ok, so now I just need to let him do the work.
Another q while I have you. I feel like a "sitting duck" sometimes. Here I am, limited in my ability to take off and hide (which is what I feel like doing, in order to heal) because I have this newborn. I am quite restricted because newborns are a lot of work, and I can't move about for too long because of various doctors visits for the baby, and because I have to move out of my apartment and lease it etc because I can no longer afford the mortgage (thus I am living with mum). WH is back in town to 'wrap things' up with me, I suppose, and I just don't want to let him destroy these next few weeks/months while he is here, waiting for him to call so he can see the baby at his whim. Any tips for how to survive this time?
Another issue is that while WH is here back in the country for this short while, it is the last time I am going to see him for probably a year or so. So I am feeling a lot of anxiety around that. I want him to be gone so i can "relax" and recover, and yet I am devastated to see him go....
Should I try to 'gutsy' and facilitate the baby visits myself? It's the last time he will 'see me in action' for a very, very long time.
