bpickle, you sound very sympathetic. I can't imagine that your husband wouldn't respond to consistent appreciation and sexual availability from you, while you let him know what you need in a way that doesn't feel like he's being criticized. Perhaps by emphasizing how much you liked the time he did something that you really did appreciate and made you feel more connected in a way that you need to feel sexual.
I'm sure that you've heard that in a good marriage, there is at least 4 expressions of praise for every criticism. It really has to be a ratio such that you feel you are much more likely to hear something nice from your spouse than something negative. That makes you want to hear and talk to your spouse.
