Setting them free

[Piano]

Gucci, re my previous post, any tips on how to acheive a full walk-away when there is an unborn baby OR a newborn baby in the mix.

I know that we are not supposed to see our sitchs as unique, but there are a few first time mums here on the forums with WAH's with or without an OW in the mix.

Detaching, Walking Away, Letting Go, are very tricky at the best of times, near impossible though when you have a new baby or are waiting to give birth to your WAH's child.

One can't 'hand over' a newborn baby to it's father, as you can with older children who already have an established relationshiop with both parents. New mothers have to be nearby the newborn at all times (even if it means in the next room) if she is nursing because they feed almost constantly, for one -- a rhythm to which no firm schedule can be applied. Plus you are encouraged to give as much visitation access to the father so they can bond with their baby and hopefully be involved with co-parenting - this is widely seen as the Right thing to do by the child.

We are all devastated by WAS's. But any perenatal psychologist would say a woman is experiencing extreme hormonal peeks when she is pregnant and in the weeks post birth. Every fibre in the mother's being wants to keep her family intact. It is perhaps, if we allow it, a small point of difference-physiologically the pregnant woman is a hormonal beast!

I am having trouble Letting Go when I have to see WH so he can see the baby in my presence (I now sit in another room and have a family member present instead, but I would like to be courageous enough again to facilitate the visitations myself).

Plus, and this is another put where I get stuck, is how do you give the Robx "I'm OK with this too" speech when there is nothing OK about a father walking out on a pregnant wife ? Or is that a judegemental, value-ladden falsity (ie controlling)?