WAW still around, DBing starting to work

[gutwrenching]

And the wild week continues. What I didn't mention in my update is one day prior to the breakdown, she had confided in a male friend of both of ours that she had told me she wanted a D. He is very close friend to both of us. He gave her a lot of advice and a lot to think about. This was on Monday. Tuesday the breakdown.

Then Friday things start changing drastically, and I didn't see it coming. She comes home from work on Friday and kisses me. We start our camping trip and she is initiating affection and touching. Saturday morning she tells me about telling our mutual friend and some things he said hit home...and she wants to know if I am still willing to work on M because she isn't ready to give up yet and wants to work on it.

The two things she tells me impacted her the most were his advice to be able to look in a mirror and say you gave it 100% and he told her that your heart doesn't have a brain, so don't try to think with your heart, think with your brain about what you have, what you would give up, and what the situation really is. Great advice IMO, to combat my W and lack of feelings.

So I tell her I am willing to continue to work on our M if she is truly committed.

The last 72 hours have been incredible. ML for first time in over 8 months. She tells me she is genuinely happy. There hasn't been a negative or stressful moment. I have heard her say she is trying before and seen some effort, but nothing like this.

She is also suggesting we go ahead and rent a place that requires two incomes instead of one. This is a bigger action/sign than anything. She refused to consider two income houses previously even when "trying" because she was so certain there is no way we would make more than 6 months.

The physical part is also big, considering for the past 8 months or so I have heard nothing but how even the thought of getting intimate or physical disgusts her...and for her to have initiated every bit of the intimacy each time is amazing. I even suggested we slow down at one point, to which her reply was, but your my husband, I want to do this.

So...we might actually be piecing at this point...