I say hit facebook too... make the infidelity public.. tha'ts the point... if you HIDE the infidleity you SUPPORT the infidelity...
Change your phone number so your H can't complain...
If your H calls you and complains tell him you refuse to lie to cover up his cheating anymore and that you are not going to allow him to disrespect you further and then HANG UP
Allen, I'm trying. I really am and I'm glad to have you point out that some of it may be working.
I don't have the ability to change my phone number. There's too much connected to it at this point yet, but I will as soon as I can...might be a few weeks though. I have some very sick members of the family at this point and the atty and the bankruptcy atty...all of them have my number. I am the contact. So I will have to deal with that and just suck it up I guess.
I'm glad that his family and others are supporting me too. It is nice to have that happen.
We are not hiding the infidelity from anyone, actually he isn't either, that's what I mean when I say he posted on FB about her and him. He is out in the open with it. Whatever anyone comments, well they do, I can't stop them and I would not try. I'm going to let him hang himself there because we have over 80 mutual friends that will see that, I'm sure they will make some kind of comment about me being gone when they had seen me online. It will be interesting. I'm just not asking them to comment. I will let them make that choice there.
Other than FB I have not held back from anyone that he is dating so and so and that we are still married and have not filed for D at this point. Actually, I go out of my way to tell people that. LOL. It actually makes me feel better when I do that and they get this look on their faces like OMG he's doing what??
Wait, I'd better clarify and admit to something here.
I asked my children NOT to comment on FB on anything their father said about OW. I told them that I didn't feel it was right that he posted there about someone else while we are still married and no divorce is filed, that it isn't right that he is seeing someone else while we are still married and that I would not condone his actions nor would I take the blame for them.
Therefore, my explanation to them was that I felt that to be fair to both of us and not be in the middle, that I would prefer that they not comment to their father or me on FB about this situation, instead they should talk to us one on one and make their decision based on what they feel is right. Just not in a public forum because, regardless, we are both their parents and they are stuck with both of us for life.
Also, another question. I guess I'm just full of them right now.
Some of the things that have been said over the past few weeks lead me to believe that this may be some type of mid life crisis as well. For instance:
"I feel like a teenager"
"I want to get younger!"
"I feel alive and young and vibrant"
"I feel like I'm wanted and loved and needed, even though she could beat the crap out of me"
"I don't want to have that piece of paper because it feels like you and that piece of paper (Marriage liscence) control me"
"I want to be able to go where I want, when I want, do what I want"
"you used to be spontaneous and fun, now you are predictable. I want that spontanaity"
"I want someone who is a ball of fire, who goes out and does things all the time, who loves life and feels young, not someone willing to sit at home and do nothing"
Anyhow, was just wondering what you all thought of that concept at this point. I realize that this is helpful in the long run anyhow to know what is drawing him to OW, but I am just wondering if ya'all think it's mid life crisis as well...double trouble. UGH!
You need to stop referring to infidelity as "dating" and "seeing someone else"
CAll a SPADE a SPADE.. he's having a sexual affair and cheating on his wife.. SAY it like that..
When you call it "dating" you VALIDATE it and he thinks that mean's its OK... call a spade a spade.. don't pull punches.. He's an addict... going soft on an addict just makes them a WORSE ADDICT
67 - I feel your pain. You and I are about the same age - both with 3 kids - whose H's have gone off the deep end. I like the goals you have set for yourself. Keep doing that! One foot in front of the other - right?
Listen to the good advice that you get here and keep busy, to stave off loneliness! That's what I try to do. So glad you found your way here... it is the best place to come - to vent, get advice, keep yourself from doing unproductive things with your H that don't work anyway. At least that's been the case for me! lol
I am so lonely right now. I popped on here just to say hi and put something out there so ya'all knew I waas here and read your responses.
I'm going to go for a walk and try to stave off all this crap at this point.
I did go and get a haircut today. That felt good, something I haven't done is sooooo long. I usually just cut my bangs myself and let my hair grow. Well, I didn't today. I went in and had it done. Yeah me!
I'll come back on later to put up my other thoughts of the day and report progress/failures....not sure what they actually are...but here's one
I haven't spoken to WAH sicne 1:15 pm yesterday (Sunday) and he texted me once today with a picture of something he was towing, I told him it was a great pic and to have a nice day. That was all. So contact has been minimal...dim right?? *sigh* I miss him.
