Hmmmmmm and another piece of the puzzle falls into place. Going thru some boxes of docs and other important stuff I had moved over to my place so the WAW couldnt get them today. Came across a notebook that had a single page "rough draft" of an obvious love letter to her EX. Unfortunately no date or name used, but the langauge makes it quite clear who she was talking about.

How they had been apart for so long, how they're like strangers now, how much she enjoyed their dates that seemed to go on forever, how she loves him but is afraid to show it, how she likes his arm around her in public , blah , blah, blah.

Of course this is in direct contrast to the diary entries she wrote to me when she was recovering in the hospital from delivering our son. Basically begging and crying out to do something to recognize her and our R before it was to late. Keep in mind she NEVER actually gave me the thing to read, so I was in the dark about how lonely and ignored she was feeling.

I will say this, she deserves an Oscar for her performance over the last several months. REALLY glad I had already accepted in my mind that they had or would have carnal relations, so it came as no big shock, even though it still stung to read those words she wrote.

Especially considering how she did such a masterful job of denying everything. Now the question becomes, since she has already shacked up with him, do I "bust her" with what I know, possibly proving that Im not a fool. Or do I sit on it, hope for reconcilation at some point in the future and then only bring up this "love letter" when she may be receptive and or repentant?

Needless to say, while Im not shocked, I AM seething over how she claimed I was the selfish one,and didnt care about the kids , etc while the whole time she was carrying on an affair right under my nose and the kids ( at least DD) WILL BE effected by this for years to come.

She is SUCH a hypocrite. DD's first counseling session was last week and she asked both of us what our collective values were to instill in the kids. WAW actually said with a straight face. " Dont lie , cheat or steal "

REALLY regretting agreeing to joint custody now. Wish I had found the damn notebook sooner. She sure had me snowballed for the entire month of May. Actually got annoyed when I suggested that the EX could smell her vulnerability a mile away and replied with " what and you dont think I can resist that ?"

ARRRGGGGG. Part of me REALLY wants to blast her, let her know I KNOW EVERYTHING now and how disgusted I am with her behavior and the example she is setting for not only our DD, but her twins as well.