My Story

[botanygirl]

I am 33 (soon to be 34) and he is 34 (actually 35....he came to canada as a refugee and they scewed up the year he was born so by canadian citizenship he is 34 but actual age is 35!!:)

Our D is 2

When I tracked him to the bad end of town and he finally came home that am. He initially told me he was in an illegal gambling ring and that he went to casinos with other people and cheated the system.....if you have ever seen the movie 21...I think this is what he was referring to as to what he was doing. He told me that there were women and men and that that was the life he wanted and that he was no good and that I deserved better and should therefore leave.

The next morning I went into work and then crumpled down on the kitchen floor. My receptionist had to cancel all my patients and I didn't know what to do so I did call his sister. My H has a large family 4S's and 3B's.

I went to her house told her everything that I knew. Gambling problems run in his family. His mother had a problem and the sister that I went to...her H had had issues.

So that weekend we basically did an intervention b/c I was still tracking him and he was still going down to the same area. His sister went down there and waited at his car for the whole day until he came out to it and then he came to the house and that is when he basically told me that he started the gambling b/c he was so unhappy in our M.

My H comes from a traditional asian family. They are not good at discussing issues or getting involved. His parents know about what is going on but have not gotten involved. I think they have probably told him to smarten up and fix the marriage but that is about it. They would be devastated if it ended in D and likely very embarrassed. It would not be looked upon nicely.

I have a feeling the gambling is in part due to pressures that he may feel with the family. He does not earn as much as his B's and S's and with me owning my own business that I have had to start from the ground up we do not earn as much as the rest of the family.

At christmas his father made a comment that we were the poorest. I didn't hear or see this but when I was asking him what was wrong he brought this up and started crying. My H is a pretty emotional person at times. He cried at our wedding and cried when our D was born. So when he started crying on telling me this I knew it was very serious.

The suicide site I am taking serious. When we were on vacation we went to a restaurant for lunch and our D was being very difficult...it wasn't very child friendly and they only had booster seat. She still needs to be strapped in. She kept trying to get up and almost fell out of the seat a few times. My H was losing it and then he started looking at his wrists and said "the mark is gone now". I couldn't take it anymore and that is when I told him I knew he had been looking at websites and that I would file for D if that is what he wanted. I just don't want him to kill himself b/c he feels there is no other way around this. He said nothing.