confused but then again hell who isn't

[dc329]

Newmama Thank you and yes I do mean what I say. He is pushing me into a corner I don't want to be in. I do need and appreciate this time and space. I need it that I know for sure. I am afraid he will cave in and start calling and texting because when he left today he didn't pack much and acted as if he was irritated by leaving saying he wouldn't be gone long. He does not know how to not have communication with me I've seen that in the past he will call non stop to check on me then get mad if I don't answer. I did not cry and have not cried. I believe I am only a victim if I allow it. It is not easy staying strong but it is necessary for my well being and I know this. He has tried to irritate me (control games I think) but I say ok and walk away. He has been overly affectionate, I think to see me break but seriously Im on a whole nother level. Im concerned that he may have pushed me to the point that I don't want to be a part of his confusion if it is going to mess with my head.

I think I am fortunate in the fact that I waited untill I was 35 to get married and I know what is like to be single and on my own raising a child. I've had crappy relationships and learned the hard way. It took alot for me to get married. I'm like the run a way bride and he knew that so for him to act like this really bothers me when he worked oh so hard to get me. I'm concerned that I look at pictures of us and cannot cry. Im going to go to counseling for me not my marriage because I need guidance for myself.