Just found out she already filed

[ImprovedRomeo]

So I had a few tough moments today. I realized that I still miss her company, I miss her companionship, I feel lonely without her in my life. Then I started feeling upset about why she would do this when I would give her anything she could ask for. I got angry that DD has to suffer the most, maybe it's DD that I missed so much today not STBXW.

I think the trigger was me emptying the dressers etc that she wants. Just thinking back about when we got those things. Why couldn't things be that way again? I also found an old tank-top of hers and it was the last straw to force a few tears out of me. I remember when she used to wear it...those old summer days- I hadn't seen it for a while. For an instant I wanted to keep it but I know better- that'll just be torture.

On a better note I had to get out so I called my buddy up and he was up for biking. We did a 13 mile mountain/road biking hybrid run. I hadn't done it for a while so I was struggling a bit on the uphill sections but it helped to take my anger out at the pedals and my legs. The scenery was pretty nice too. Oh I've noticed whenever I'm carrying my bike in the back of my truck I get a lot of looks. My buddy joked saying I should get a dog to complete the package 'a truck, a dirty mountain bike, a dog'. He thinks with that I'll have girls talking to me left and right. Ummm...no- as much as I'd love to have a dog I'm maxed out on who/what I can take care of single handidly. A turtle maybe that I could take on a leash like wii

Hope you all had a great 4th! it's back to work tomorrow ugh I know...I so want to take a month off and do nothing.