Just found out she already filed

[ImprovedRomeo]

@kat, actually a few of the neighbors got together to celebrate the 4th outside, hotdogs, hamburgers etc. So I joined in, brought some potato salad, ice etc. Hung out with them fo a bit. Then later in the evening we set off some fireworks. Missed my DD so much, she would've loved it being her first year where she could really see, touch and feel the stuff. Sure the professional ones are great but this is the age where she would enjoy and remember these things forever. I know I did...nevermind when I found a half used firecracker and stuck a matches in it which blew up in a instant with all the gun powder on my hand and face...I was lucky to not lose more than a few eyebrow hair lol - see the childhood memories. I should've bought a package for her so we could set some off tomorrow...I will make sure I do next year.

@antlers, @wii- yeah I think she has detached but she detached a long time ago, probably before she even moved out. Someone (OldFool?) said that it's like people that commit suicide, they're at peace right before they do it. She's made up her mind she's just doing what she needs to do. It's really unfortunate because I would've moved mountains if she asked me to...I know I made mistakes but this is the ultimate price to pay in a M/R. I really doubt she bawls her eyes out wii...she's really good at compartmentalizing and if she ever does feel sad she'll deal with it by jumping in bed with someone...and she's pretty so I'm sure she probably has guys hitting on her etc anyway. That's her way of dealing with her emotions. Very much like guys do...well not this guy and sometimes I wonder why I have to be this way and not like the other guys.

@CTH, you're right but they can't hide forever...some day they'll have to face their deamons and that's when they'll realize what they've done. That's when they'll see what you meant to her. Unfortunately it could be years.

@NM, thanks for stopping by and sharing the insight from the book. You know, books are great and we can learn a lot from them. But anyone can write a book so I do take what people say with a grain of salt. If they're drawing on their own experience that's actually good (as opposed to making stuff up that makes sense) but it may work differently for different situations. In my case I will force myself to celebrate DD's 6th b.day together as a family but next year and on I most likely won't.

That's a great point about their friendly and cavalier attitude- it IS insulting now that I think about it. I knew I was feeling some angst but couldn't quite put my finger on it. Thanks for saying that because I think that's exactly what it was...I felt like she can stand there and talk about stupid stuff that matters not but won't say a word about the elephant in the room. As if nothing happened.

I'll share some stuff from the book later...I thumbed through it yesterday.

@wii- ruminating...I wouldn't exactly say that it's a joy but my mind is addicted to it. I think you hit the nail with your 3rd point. I do it over and over again, one to take the edge off and feel a bit desensitized and two to think of my plans/options A, B and C. Whatever they might be.

@Romeo- oh wait...no

@antlers- thanks, I was afraid of that. grr, ugh @$#!@#$A

@Gardener- thanks for pointing it out G, yes I agree with wii...as I said before she's not falling apart. She surrounds herself with other divorced, single people. She's always been about surviving. She's done this in her past relationships too. She picks up and leaves...she's a serial leaver and when she does she finds another soon if not already have one before leaving.

@luvless, thanks for stopping by. There are two things from what I know: one is just a assets/debits statement and the other is the interrogatory/discovery crap where they send you forms that ask for like 50 line items and each line item is stuff like: submit tax returns from 2005-now and include original W2s, investment and other documents such as 1099-INT. Yes, that's just one line. It's a friggn' pain in the @ss...grr @#$@Q#%

I'm staying as far away from this crap as possible only doing what (and when) the Ls ask me to do something but you have my email address T. Just shoot me an email whenever you want to discuss anything I'd be happy to tell you anything I've gone through in the process.