Thanks knittedscarf. The more I thought about it, the less frustrated I became because the precedent has been set throughout our childrens' lives. No amount of denial on her part would be able to overcome the fact that our kids were baptized catholic, attend mass, and attend religious education classes (since they attend a public school).
I told the kids that they are welcome to attend mommy's church if they like, but they still have to attend our church as well every Sunday. My W seems to want to make the case that the kids prefer her church, and why wouldn't they? It's like a party; live music, sometimes dancing, and they even have a cafe with free coffee that you can bring in to the service. I told my W the kids would like Cap'n Crunch for dinner, so are you going to honor their preferences on that as well?
An interesting side note: when I showed up at my W's church to pick up the kids she had a man from the church's childrens' services (basically their babysitting/kids' education) with her because she "was uncomfortable with the way" I was talking to her on the phone. I was furious at her trying to portray me as a potential threat to her or our children's well being.
I just explained the situation to the man and made her look foolish as I got her to admit she was changing the routine without an agreement from me. Still - I was very irritated so I'm sure I didn't get the benefit of the doubt in his eyes. No matter - I told him to speak to the pastor that I have spoken with if he wants to know the whole story or get a take on my character.
Tomorrow is our youngest daughters birthday. To show that 'I' am a christian, I invited her with us to see Toy Story 3 and have the birthday dinner with us as well.
I can see the angle of saying "screw her - let her feel the reality of missing her daughter's birthday", but I can't do that. It doesn't feel right, no matter how bad she has treated me. I'm not her. Plus, my daughter deserves to have both her parents with her on her birthday.
pigskin, for reasons I don't understand, you are consistently ignoring the problems you say are causing trouble and redirecting your energy to something that has nothing to do with you or your wife's dissolution of your marriage. I don't know why you are doing this, but I hope you get the help you need.
First, why are you even playing the game "which church do my kids prefer"? It says that your kids are 10, 9, and 6, so that means they haven't been confirmed, right? But they've been baptized catholic, right? So stop letting them go to this fake church with its fake beliefs and its stupid rituals that have nothing to do with God, his religion, or anything that you say you stand for.
Stop it now.
When you got your kids baptized, you agreed to raise them as catholics. This is a binding promise to God about the souls of your children until they are old enough t make their own decisions in faith. You agreed to be their spiritual guide. Now you are putting it on THEM to make the decisions to go to your church or mommy's fake church and you think they will have the tools to decide which faith they prefer?
Give me a frigging break. You want them to be catholic, tell them they are going to catholic church and ONLY the catholic church. That is what you agreed to in their baptism.
If they are meant to be part of mommy's fake church, they can make that decision when they are 15 (or however old the kids are these days) when they have their confirmation. Or is mommy's fake church (and her recent faith) not true enough to last til they make their own choices.
It's not a choice. Either you want your kids to be catholic or you don't. Like I said, you can have your lawyer legally make this happen. But it is up to you and if you can follow your own convictions (which looks like you might need some prayers from the people on this board to realize how you are putting your kids in danger).
Two, why are engage in playing the "I'm a good Christian" game with your wife? It doesn't make you a good Christian if you invite her over the kid's bday. Why wouldn't you? She's got you thinking that there's some magical scorecard that you can tick off as "good Christian" and "bad Christian" and now you get to tick off the "birthday" box?
Stop that thinking. You are inviting her because she's the mother of your kids. If you were Christian - like you say you are - you wouldn't have to point it out...it'd be a given. Know that quote in Corinthians about love not being like a noisy gong? Love is patient, love is kind. Well, stop tooting your own damn horn.
That's what fake Christians, like your wife, do. They have to have a big showcase. You have to show your kids that you walk the walk in your faith. So take them to church and ignore getting into p!ssing matches. But first, get on the phone with your lawyer and stop your kids from going to a church that is not catholic.
That's the only thing that matters, if you believe like you say you believe. Good luck and vaya con dios. You need it.
