MLC - standing by my man

[Mila]

Twink, Dudess, Cat, TG, Garden Girl, CW, GAG & Flow, - Thank you so much for your input...very much appreciated...it really helps to see this crappy situation from different angles.
Twink -

I think your H does some of the things he does because he can. For instance, giving you the receipts for his activities with OW is beyond disrespectful

Right you are Twink...and it just keeps getting better..just before he left for his "European Vacation" with OW, H gave me his receipts again (business & personal)...this time I got in his personal expenses a receipt for condoms....how cruel is that. I'm just shaking my head....why not buy it cash? why use debit and give me the receipt? Makes me wonder if he is doing it on purpose...but what purpose?

This man...who ever he is...is absolutely shameless...could the fog be that thick? I have to tell him to open his own account for personal expenses...I don't need to know how many condoms they go through.

Surprisingly I'm less and less affected by his crap...and that feels great

Dudess -

What do you make of the fact that he hasn’t filed for divorce?

Not sure...could be because of business...he needs me here when he is not, to take care of things...he wouldn't be able to just take off for weeks at the time if someone wasn't holding the fort...As you know I'm working on separating from it eventually. On the other hand he may not be filing because he is just incapable of thinking rationally and it's too much work to get that organized...we will see what happens when OW starts putting pressure on him.

I'm not ready to file myself...maybe I'll be in the future, who knows...right now I'm only ready for a Separation agreement and to work on getting myself financially independent of him.

Cat -

there are plenty of ways to set boundaries and move forward with your life that do not include filing for a D. Even if the possibility of remarriage does exist

That's the way I'm thinking right now

TG -

The REAL change that has to happen, which is when you do finally LET GO, is the goal. It is when it is no longer a tool or tactic but is your own truth

I feel that I have made some real progress towards this in the past few weeks...I'm on the right track anyway.

Mila I promise you, you are on the precipice of this discovery, you have fought hard, keep pushing

I will TG...thank you so much for your encouragement (((hug)))

Gardengirl - thanks for posting,

I, too, am in my 50's and had a husband very similar to yours. It is so hard to understand how someone can go from being so in love with you and says over and over 'you are my best friend' to.....I can't 'do this anymore'

yes I can certainly relate

CW - thanks for checking on me...I had a great weekend...Thursday - went to a Fair with a friend and then went out for dinner with her. Friday tennis in the morning, lunch with a friend, stables with D and a quiet evening at home. Saturday - Tennis in the morning, coffee with my friend, shopping for a gift for my mom...Sunday...more tennis and then a friend came over, baked some muffins and had a nice latte sitting in the garden and chatting. Family movies in the evening....I'm GALing so much that I have to slow down and concentrate more on work and the work needed around the house LOL

GAG -

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, only more love".

Very profound ...thank you for that GAG

Thanks so much for the lyrics....wow how fitting...love you GAG (((hug)))

So happy for you how things are going with you XH you are a great lady and it looks like your XH is starting to see that again

Flow - thanks for stopping by, you are right...It's time for me to stand up for myself...have to set more boundaries...Going to work on setting personal budgets for each of us and let him deal with his own living expenses....in the mean time continuing working on ways to separate from business.

I have found that acting "as if" I am ready for the next stage is helping me to get there. It's also helped me maintain my sense of dignity

that's the way to go