I don't think it is a lack of respect for you. I think he has a real lack of respect for himself. I would if I left my W 3 months pregnant. Just my perspective. He clearly is thinking about himself and what he needs while disregarding what you and the baby really need. He does not know what he really wants because he would not leave you in Limbo.
You will be a very good mother, and he will at least be involved in your child's life.
It is hard to not let the WAS dictate the life of others, but it is the reality. It is how you react that will dictate a positive outcome for you and the baby.
You are doing a great job dealing with your sitch.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Bd, I know this is all very difficult to go through having experienced all to well,. My nbson is now 4 months.
their father does not have much involvement in their lives my s is not bonded to his father.
try not to think about what he is not doing, but when that baby makes that entrance, you will see that little face be so shocked at how gorgeious that baby is. I say to myself when i have both my young ones with me, I HAVE ENOUGHT LOVE FOR THE BOTH OF THEM. I do, i scoop them up, kiss them to death, hug them and d2.75 loves her little brother so much, he loves her. they are deeply attached to one another.
I agree with LSG, the was may not know how to come back or make ammends for all the harm and destruction they have caused. when my h is somber, not angry and real, he admitts he's a horrible father i hear it in his voice, sadly he is letting our issues stop him from fathering these to kids. he's dug a hole and doesn't know how to get out and it is easier to do nothing then admitt you've done wrong, or need to change or look in the eyes of innocent kidos without feeling so crappy about themselves.
for whatever it's worth.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
H and I have been so occupied with the prepping and planning for the baby, and its been quite fun! Two weeks left... I'd like to go tomorrow! Hahaha
Thanks everyone for your support!
Jstar and LSG, you are right. I do think WH has a hard time dealing with what he's done and doesn't know how to find himself or his way back.
For the past few days, things for me have been good! Focusing on the baby and just being excited. WH is being extremely supportive and always ready to lend a hand and around.
Went to Docs today... 1 cm dilated... which means squat! I am however getting a lot of stronger contraction... but doc said could be days or weeks! 38 weeks today, so i'm hoping for now!
H has been so... my old H! Is moving home to help me out when the baby is born. Not sure for how long etc, i did express my concern that we need to figure out a schedule etc. and he agreed that we will talk about it and take things day by day.
We did have some R talk... strange... said he is opening his heart and mind up to idea of 'us'. but im so darn excited about the baby, that i really dont to focus on us. what is nice is that he is here now to help me prepare and get ready for the little guy and wants to help me raise him. Lots of conversations and phone calls and texts and time together... im not making anything of it, taking it for what it is!
Tonight we went food shopping to stock the house for when we come home from the hospital and when we get visitors, etc. Funny he picked out a few things like his fave cereal etc. for when he is living here. haha but he helped me unpack things in the house and get everything situated.
he picked me up from work tonight and the parking authority told him he needed to move his car and he told them he was waiting for his 'pregnant wife'!
G, friend me on FB, i couldnt find you? Yes, both girls are my sisters...the one on the right is actually pregnant too! and the other is getting married next year! They are my best friends...
Hey! Sounds like things are in a great place between you and WH for the arrival of your baby. Keep up whatever you are doing, BD!
Makes me sad to think how estranged my WH feels to me now. We haven't had a 'normal' conversation for months, and even that felt only half normal!
Maybe all that contact you are having with WH will pay off if you ever decide to reconcile.
Funny he's calling the child Babydoll!!
I'm on FB too now. Newmama might be able to hook us up.
HUGS BD! ANY DAY NOW!
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
It's good that he said he's opening his heart and mind. We'll see how it goes, BD!