i try. the problem is the way i deliver my 'advice' or 'encouragement'. i can see my old ways of encouraging someone is not always the best way. then i pull back.
i need to try a different approach. i tend to challenge a person's thought process and ask why do you think it won't work when you haven't even tried? and if i ask a question, and i sense that you are avoiding the question, i will hound you and say "you didn't answer my original question." .. you start to dig (geez, sound familiar?) because you know the other person is hiding something. i make the other person uncomfortable.
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TED Talks are good to get you thinking as well.
i watched Steve Jobs' speech at Stanford U's commencment. that was pretty good too.
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Focus on the process not the outcome.
so coach, how am i doing so far? am i doing the right thing? it does seem like a slow journey and i don't feel like i've made any progress. i don't interact with h. i don't speak to him. i guess i don't plan on speaking to him until the separation agreement is finalized.
my mom has noticed a change in my tone. ever since i bought my house, she says i have a new outlook on life. i have a goal that i am working towards. some direction that was much needed. i am not out of the woods yet but it gives me something to look forward to. i am pretty excited about it.
at squash last night, i met a new guy. i think he noticed me. i saw him looking at me a few times. he seemed shy when initiating conversation with me. most guys are shy when they talk to me. they talk but they make minimal eye contact. why is that? he asked if i could stay longer to play one last game but it was getting late.
i must say that ever since the bomb dropped, i became a new person. i smile more, look cute, and i dress better when i play squash. i had the cutest pair of shorts on. i am more playful when i talk. h doesn't even have to be around and i'm naturally that way. that's the girl i used to be. i am focusing on the process of achieving happiness.
