Just Confronted - A Litttle Confused

[Quicksilver264]

Right now she is doing nasty, nasty things to you, and you are just taking it. Time to drop the rope and let her deal with her own choices from now on.

That's the thing, I AM in that process. I AM DOING THINGS FOR ME now and DOING WHAT IS RIGHT no matter the situation. I am being an adult, and acting civilly.

And 30 days of DB culminated with one conversation in the morning with her mom about being "so happy", and then later that day with "he is making me sooo upset with the way he has been acting and doing things I always wanted him to". She has NOTICED the changes.

Alan was completely right about the underlying miserableness, down to the core.

It's not about convincing her to stay. It is about DOING THE RIGHT THING and being the person I WANT TO BE NOW. And the effects spill on over to her whether I want them to or not.

Everything that I have been doing has had an impact, and that was VERY visible yesterday. She still THINKS that she will be happier with SOMEONE ELSE doing those things, BUT I have never in the 6 weeks since she dropped the bomb saw her act that way as she did yesterday.

I know I can't convince her to change. I can just change ME, and then watch and see how she responds to that.

But so far Alan has been dead on, and I didn't see it full force until yesterday.