One thing that I wanted to ask the forum regulars about was if I should be concerned about a potential EA (or even PA). I haven't seen any evidence that there is one, but I don't want to be a sucker. My wife isn't very tech savvy (I am) so it's not hard to try and gather evidence. Nothing in her email, browser history, cell history, or FB page would indicate anything inappropriate.
She does like to flirt (no big deal to me), and has a lot of guy friends at work who she sometimes brings leftovers for. Most of her coworkers are younger than she is, but again, no real warning signs.
She wants to get a tattoo, and she's also wanted to get a boob job for several years. In fact lately she's been making jokes about her boobs a lot. When she first mentioned wanting new boobs, I always told her that she was beautiful, and that she didn't really need them (we couldn't afford them anyway).
So now I think she's either trying to get a rise out of me or fishing for affirmation that they're still fine to me. I've just avoided commenting.
About a year ago, she started to be concerned about her appearance, more than normal. Got her hair colored, started wearing some makeup, and perfume.This was after she had gone to visit some of her H.S. friends on a "girls weekend." I liked the changes, but assumed the motivation was that she was just GAL.
Other than that, no odd conversations or actions on the phone, or weird behaviour.
If there is or has been an EA/PA, I can cope with that. I don't think it would hurt me anymore than the current sitch does, but I know that it would affect how I should approach DB'ing.
These are all warning signs (red). Her flirting in front of you should bother you. Your wife won't be attracted to you unless she respects you.
Stay vigilant, ramp up your efforts on your issues and keep posting.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
