what I am faced with now, however, is a battle. I have proposed a number of agreements with her-- and she has shot them all down. she made a choice to be a cake eater. I allowed it for a year and now I'm dealing with a very difficult situation where she has essentially established residence for those kids. I never would have imagined in a million years that she would choose to keep them away from me like this, but then again I didn't know what she was capable of. I loved her, wanted her back and wanted the family back... but she had other things in mind, maniuplated me and the situation to her advantage and now she has a leg up.
Bradley,
I hate to say it but I honestly do not see a lot of growth here. I still see a lot of excuses or blaming of your W.
I realize you see some of the things you could have done differently, but I also still see the sense of entitlement that Mach touched on.
None of us imagined that our spouses would do some of the things we have experienced. If we did, we would not have married them right? I mean unless we were just glutton for punishment.
I do not doubt your desire to be a part of your children’s lives but I do feel like in many ways, because your W is not willing to give you what you want, not the M, but just living arrangements in general, that you are willing to go for the throat. You know that whole eye for an eye mentality.
Is that really good for any of you involved?
I still really feel like the motivation for some of YOUR actions, is not coming from a place of peace, compassion, and true desire for what is the best, but from a sense of trying to control a situation that you feel like you have no control over and definite judgement and punishment of your W for her actions.
IF you win full custody of your boys, you will be ripping them from the only full time parent they have ever known and honestly, will you be able to be with them full time or will they spend a ton of time with a nanny?
Bradley, make sure your motivations are honest and pure. Not from hurt, anger, frustration, entitlement, or anything else.
Because if they are not from the right place, the only ones you will be hurting, is your boys.
Originally Posted By: Mach1
What is the BEST thing for my boys ?
What they have known , since they were born is the life that you describe...
I am NOT suggesting that you give in to her here...
Just that there are small steps to take to avoid that plunge into the icy lake water....
You are still thinking that it is either all or none here...
With everything in life there is a balance...
Please really think about this…
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
